I'm an emotional hairrist!
I've realized this startling fact just this week. Still having a lot of anger and resentment inside from yet another Benito relapse made me want to impulsively change my hair again. I shaved it off after my last traumatizing incident w/him, and now I was about to relax all my will power down the drain. Anyhow I pulled it together and compromised on a straightening comb. For 20$ I get the temporary look w/o the permanent guilt. Unfortunately when I straightened my hair there was no shape to it and so I trimmed it and tried to style as best I could. I'm going to have to go to the salon (DAMN) and let them get me started with that. Anywho what I've realized is that I don't feel any different with my hair straight as I do with it natural. I'm still neurotic and a bit insecure, self-aware and in my head either way. So that obliterated that lie I had constructed these past months, that it would be easier to have my hair straight. Still the same brain under the hair! So at this point, which I find to be most difficult - I have to think past my current frustrations. I think of my inspirations, an ex co-worker Keisha who's natural hair was sooo long when she got it straightened and who was fly either way. People like Erykah Badu who just don't give a damn point blank period. Cool ass Jill Scott. And I think about another 6 months from now when I'll have more options and be in a different emotional space. Benito free. Happier. And I am steadfast, no lye.
I've realized this startling fact just this week. Still having a lot of anger and resentment inside from yet another Benito relapse made me want to impulsively change my hair again. I shaved it off after my last traumatizing incident w/him, and now I was about to relax all my will power down the drain. Anyhow I pulled it together and compromised on a straightening comb. For 20$ I get the temporary look w/o the permanent guilt. Unfortunately when I straightened my hair there was no shape to it and so I trimmed it and tried to style as best I could. I'm going to have to go to the salon (DAMN) and let them get me started with that. Anywho what I've realized is that I don't feel any different with my hair straight as I do with it natural. I'm still neurotic and a bit insecure, self-aware and in my head either way. So that obliterated that lie I had constructed these past months, that it would be easier to have my hair straight. Still the same brain under the hair! So at this point, which I find to be most difficult - I have to think past my current frustrations. I think of my inspirations, an ex co-worker Keisha who's natural hair was sooo long when she got it straightened and who was fly either way. People like Erykah Badu who just don't give a damn point blank period. Cool ass Jill Scott. And I think about another 6 months from now when I'll have more options and be in a different emotional space. Benito free. Happier. And I am steadfast, no lye.
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