Day 5

Hey! Day 5 of Kevin Powell's 30 Day Fitness challenge is finito.  Switched it up today went to a community (FREE) Bikram yoga class and really felt cleansed afterwards.  I've really been debating how to reign in my eating and have decided to do a variation of the Subway diet.  I will eat cereal for breakfast and then have a foot-long sub everyday, half for lunch, half for dinner.  Also supplement with fruit and steam-fresh veggies.  Something I can manage that will also help me budget and pull away from fast foods.  I weighed in on Wednesday at 199lbs, precariously close to 200, I haven't been over 200 since 2006 and will keep it that way.  175 is my goal and I know I can achieve it with discipline and by putting my wellness first.  25 days to go and of course continued fitness and a healthier lifestyle to follow the month of June!

5AM Resolutions

Since I'm up with the birds instead of in bed; I am resolving to do Kevin Powell's 30 Day Workout Challenge.  30 days of physical activity.  I need a push.  It's been a month since I've been to my gym that I'm paying a grip for.  So Wednesday it begins.  Will be updating daily as a means of motivation. 

Touching Base

   April, finally! 3 weeks of Spring semester left, short break, then right into Summer Session till late June.  Hopefully Cabo for 4th of July. Maybe Daytona for little cousin's HS graduation next month. These are my plans for the bulk of Spring/Summer season and I'm excited. Another summer free from working, another summer (hopefully) spending random nights in BK or taking road trips that put unnecessary mileage on my lease! I am hoping no one schedules a final April 25th so that I can go to Canada from the 22nd to the 1st of May. Fingers crossed. I miss Sasha and Seb and crazy Theresa! Mom is still everywhere but home but she's always within reach when I need her so why complain. English class can't end soon enough as the professor is everything I will never be as a teacher.  These next 2 weeks I need to buckle down and finish papers and study for finals.  Then I can decompress from a fairly enjoyable semester, and a highly successful 1st year of college. 2nd time's a charm, say I, newly inducted member of Phi Theta Kappa (Alpha Theta Theta chapter). I need to consider where I will transfer to obtain my BA and if I'm ready to once again venture out of state (I believe so). 

   On the romantic tip, it was a rocky start to the new year, I find myself letting my inner angst shine through more, being more vocal about shit I don't like, and pushing men away faster. Painful, hard to accept, sometimes hard to palette. But necessary! I can't approach relationships with my same aim to please, non-confrontational approach I apply to other aspects of my life. I need someone who can deal with my particular brand of crazy, who actually finds humor in it and a perverse attraction to it! I have really come to appreciate one person in particular, as he has come through for me for two major events and has been steady and consistent since we met this summer. As I told him, I think there's more to our story than our current friendship and I'm excited to see what may come.

   Friendships have grown stronger, I am without some key players and have gained new prospects. But the usual suspects Schnovey, Xica, Nia, Steph...they are all still down. I haven't always been the best friend possible, but I have been myself, and sometimes you have to let go of people who clash with who you are at your core. Discussed this with Karen she mentioned it's good to have friends that are different than you...yea, to a point, and then it's fucking annoying.
   So the future is mine to shape and embrace. I'm happy! I'm successful! My priorities are slowly shifting towards more adult endeavors, I can actually see my goals on the horizon, so life is great. The end.

You Probably Think This Poem Is About You

You probably think this poem is about you

In fact this poem could never be about you

I've written this poem before

I've felt this disappointment before

I have even, in earnest, vowed never to be here again--before

Never have any of my poems been about you, or anyone

I've realized just now that they are always about me

The exhausting Ground Hog Day of my life

Producing the same outcome

Me, alone

Me, moving on

Me, repeating the same choices

Me, writing another rambling poem

Trying to quantify my emotions

You probably think this poem is about regret

In fact this poem could never be resentful

I've written that poem before

I've wallowed in my angst before

Turns out this poem is really about life

As I've never lived this particular life before

Every experience is welcome