WOW.

So, when we last left off, I'd just had a cute convo with Mr. Rite Aid.  I went home, lit my candle, the week went on.  Mind you, I stopped at Rite Aid (2) more times this week trying to run into him, no dice.  It was getting to the point where I was thinking - what else can I buy in here!
Today I figured since it was Monday again he'd probably be there, and indeed he was!  I went in, grabbed some random stuff, and got on line.  He was standing in front of me and didn't notice me for a while then he looked back, did a double take, then asked me how I was, and asked how it went with my candle.  I tried to sound casual.  So that was it though, he initiated convo then it died.  So I left. 
Then I got home and felt stupid, even considered calling Rite Aid!!! Instead I called my homie Xica to confirm whether or not I should have asked him about his status.  She encouraged me to GO BACK to Rite Aid and ask him what the dealy-yo?  So I did.  Of course, he's not near the register, but the cashier is mad cool and I ask her if he's single she says I don't know let me go get him.  But it turns out he's in the back PRAYING because it's Ramadan and I wait...then get antsy and go to my car, and when I come back in he's walking from the back and I walk up to him and say can I talk to you for a minute.  We step outside, I  say I think you're very handsome, and ask are you single?
He replies, actually I'm...

WAIT FOR IT...

...

...

MARRIED.  Oh God the AGONY.  My heart actually sank and I felt embarrassed and was trying to back away towards my car as quickly as possible while simultaneously assuring him he didn't come off too harsh in his let down.  Oh the HUMANITY.  But he did say, you're very gorgeous and I would love to get to know you (if I wasn't married).

The moral of this story is, you'll never know if you don't speak up and find out.  Yea I might feel kind of silly for a while, but overall I'm really proud of myself.  I'm 25, if I can't go for mines now I never will!!  [Isn't that right Xica ;o)]

Rite Aid :o)

A couple years ago they built a 24-hour Walgreen's in the center of my town.  People were ON it.  Now every time, no matter what time of day or night, there's always a long ass line and one stank ass person ringing leisurely.  So I try to go to the now-forgotten Rite Aid, that's ALWAYS empty and has a nicer layout anyway.  But the real reason isn't b/c I'm in a rush to purchase Tampax, it's b/c of this gorgeous guy that works in there.  He is absolutely beautiful.  Just my type.  Perfect skin, beautiful chocolate complexion, nice facial features.  And then, one day, he was speaking creole to this woman and it BLEW my mind, Haitian?  Word son?  So I have never said a word to him or even looked in his direction too long, but I've always smiled to myself when I saw him in the aisles.  Today I was looking bummy, in some synthetic material sweatpants, and a black t-shirt and sandals.  I ask the cashier if they have candle lighters.  She asks him to get some, he comes back with 3 and then he says, you having a dinner?  I say naw just want to light my candle.  So he says, no dinner?  I say, are you cooking?  He says I don't cook.  I say, then we're not gonna eat!  He laughs, appreciating my quick humor.  I get rung up and he's over by the door and says "enjoy your candle."  Flirting like the dickens!  I couldn't help but tell my mom when I got in the car, he is soooooo cute!  I love Rite Aid :o)

Car(eless)

Yesterday, I was on track to being right on time for work, about to hop on the parkway, and my car just gives out on me.  Moms comes thru w/ 2 dudes in a pickup.  They give me a bump in neutral and I park in a lot up the block.  All weekend I've been picked up and dropped home.  I don't really mind.  But I am fiercely independent when it comes to getting from A to B.  You don't see me asking m-f-ers for rides.  Few and far between.  Some people need to have more discretion about that shit.  Just b/c I'm the ONLY person you know w/ a car doesn't mean you're the only person I know W/O one, LoL.  Anyhow.  OFF tomorrow, will be mobile ASAP, hopefully.  Being that I didn't have my car to run to for lunch and some Wendy Williams, I had to go the the staff lunch room ::gagg::  It's bad enuff Short Hills Macy's doesn't have ANY fucking windows on my floor, the lunch room is in the basement.  NAW SON.  I need sunlight and fresh air, REGULARLY.  So today I just went down, scarfed down lunch in record time, then tried to sit outside the Macys entrance - it wasn't going down.  Plan C: Starbucks.   1000 people decided my lunch hour was a great time to grab a double venti mocha frap caramel machia-latte.  But I snagged a seat in the lounge area and actually wrote a poem.  I might share it.  But it's not that great.  My mood has been up and down past couple of days but life is moving along whether I'm chipper or not.  Thusly, I'll get over it.  MAXWELL is coming up!  That's it until next time :o)

Growth

This is it, I am quickly approaching a year of natural hair!  Sept. 28 last year was when I cut off all of my old energy and past frustrations to begin anew.  And my hair has grown, honey!  It's been a pretty mild mannered year, too.  I think I finally released Benito from my heart and mind gradually this year.  Can you believe the next new year is only 4 months away???  WTH happened to '08 is great?  I feel like this year was a blur of work and socializing and Netflixing and now it's almost over.  Geez.  I had a boyfriend for like... .2 seconds.  Literally now though, he is my boy/friend.  We should have kept it that way from the rip.  It's just sometimes you let a situation dictate your actions and you don't listen to your gut, your first instinct is always the right one, even if it seems wrong, IT'S RIGHT.  So no love lost, just not meant to be.  I am about the same weight I was last year this time, so that's what's up, albeit less toned and in shape.  That will change soon, I promise you.

Next month (Oct. 9), MAXWELL @ Radio City Music Hall, I waited too long and couldn't even find seats next to each other, only singles.  Oh well, I didn't want to share my man w/ anyone anyway, lol.

My first vote in my first presidential election is coming up in Nov. and I'm staggered by all the political chess being played.  Some people like their politics straight up, no chaser (ME).  But that's the game, for now.  OBAMA will be mobbing all over these relics of a foregone time.  No one wants to hold up the old standards and traditions, society overall is yearning for newness, not some random chick from Alaska (sit down ma).


What else, I feel like everyday I am either growing emotionally, or professionally, even spiritually sometimes.  I'm years removed from past traumas and am no longer afraid of reliving some of my darkest moments.  With that firmly rooted in the distant past, I can propel myself toward the unseen future with no anchors of anxiety.  I feel that growing in me, a confidence and desire to aspire for my own greatness, which has always been waiting for me (you'll see what I mean one day).