A Thin Line.

Yesterday Lenny came to see me after we got off of work.  I wasn't even acting like I usually do all guilty and judgmental cause it's been 2 months since I've ... and I needed some TLC.  So we're all into it, kissing and whatnot and I was like let's go.  Then he says we can't cause his girl  is home and he doesn't want to get caught out there, as in he wouldn't have time to destroy any evidence of indiscretion.  I mean, I know I was wrong for even saying it but to me it was like a wrinkle in time, and I told him that that was probably going to be his only chance because once I regain my common sense I'm not going to be beat anymore.  And that was that.  I shared this with ya'll cause I'm only human.  I obviously don't want to be in this kind of situation but I guess for the time being it is my lot in life.  So there it is...my shame of the week.  Isn't he so cute though, doesn't even look like a dog.

"Arrf."

I said to myself: self...

Yes, another year tacked on to my life count.  & some realizations have resurfaced.  When I was younger, music was literally my best friend, I went to sleep to Nas, Stevie Wonder, folk music cassette tapes, copied Mary J songs off of Hot97, do chores to music filling the apartment.  Now as an adult I only listen to music in my car.  Or on my computer, but it isn't the score of my life like it was in my adolescence, and it saddens me.  I used to cocoon myself in soul music, R&B, hip hop and rap, now I just visit.  So I am going to make a conscious effort to turn off the T.V. @ night and just play a cd (probably of music I burned from Limewire) and try to find that feeling that it used to give me.  I know it's not just me, that most music has lost it's allure and purity, but I should also explore artists and genres I usually don't open up to.  All of this to say that I know there are things that you leave behind as you grow up, but there are many things that you should never lose.  And I will fight to keep music in my heart, cause it got me through so much.

Car-ma

So today is my day off, I just woke up bout 30 minutes ago and now I'm all fucked up in the game.  My car was supposedly fixed 2 weeks or more ago, they put in a new rack and pinion and then new ball joints (all having to do with the steering).  But my car is still not aligned properly and I'm done giving the shop around the corner 2nd chances, I don't care if the mechanic likes me or not (gonna call me wishing me Happy Valentine's Day, hmph.)  So now I have two options.  Drive, in my unstable car, all the way to Roselle to a shop that fixed my car twice last year and really knows what they are doing - Or go to Central Ave.  to my oil change spot and have them check it out before I do anything else to see what's really going on.  Either way I can't continue to drive this old ass Lincoln, people thinking I'm a cute ass taxi driver and whatnot.  So today is the day, something's gotta give.

Mos @ BAM

Lemme try to summarize a milestone night so that you can all get the feeling w/o feeling like you're studying for class.  I bought these tickets 1 month ago, as a birthday gift to myself.  Orchestra, off to the right, 9 rows back.  Started @ 8, I didn't get out of the Holland Tunnel till 8:10.  Got there bout 8:30 all distraught thinking they wouldn't let me in but all I missed was the local talent (The Brooklyn Academy of Music is having a "Brooklyn Next" series where Mos performs @ the end).  bout 9PM, the man was on the stage.  I was beyond expression, pure elation and excitement, feelings that felt somewhat foreign, but a welcomed return.  The man performed BellBivDevoe's Poison to a live band, nuff said folks.  He's a cool character, he's sarcastic and humble, charismatic and a true talent.  It was a pleasure, and a true gift. 

P.S.  I gave my mom her 50th Bday gift tonight, a matte 8x12 photo of her mother in which the background was made black and white and she remained in color.  I bought a nice frame and she loved it. 

Also, I bought a digital camera today!!  Woohoo...

Ain't she a beaut?  Anywho, figured out the video mode as I waited for Mos, but only got 20 seconds cause I forgot to put in my new memory card...ahh well...I uploaded it to my vids and I tried to podcast it but I have no idea what that's about, but I tried.  Nite ya'll.

Bboy Boy...

Just got off of a marathon phone episode with my homeboy Danny.  He moved to Fresno last Oct. and we haven't talked as much since.  But our relationship was never about the daily chatter, it's been built on quality talks sprinkled among the humdrum of life over the years.  So for the initial hour it was a dialogue, then we 3-wayed Xica and terms like High Scrub Rate and topics like "My Dick in a Box as the perfect Valentine's Day Gift" came into the mix.  

Then we 4-wayed one of his prospects and chatted her up, but as far as I'm concerned she was just being cordial and found us to be a little too ghetto for her taste.  She set a record for the quickest phone convo dismount and it was back to 3.  At which point hypotheticals such as being on a flight and hearing: *Ding*  «It is now safe to eat chicken in the cabin» - were fair game.  I love that I have intelligent friends with no qualms about acting a damn fool and analyzing even the silliest phrases.  It's what makes life amusing, and bearable.  So I'm very thankful to Xica and Danny, for rounding out this given Sunday, and being true blue friends all of these years, and to prove it, our 2~>3~>4~>3 convo lasted a whopping 154mins:19secs!!  Good times.

Xica's Response:

Ay yo ga' (That means.. "hey you girl" in country grammar which means.. "hello miss" in English).. I knew there was something special about you since I met you!!.. Anyways.. you know Danny and I love you dearly.. now on to commenting on your blog.. lol.

•FIRST OF ALL... WHERE did you get that diagram?!!?.. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!  
•Danny talking about my scrub rate = hilarious!
•Were we really ghetto? or was she just not "down" enough?.. (1 of my 20 questions).. lol.. I don't think we said anything crazy..
•I am still laughing about the chicken thing.. we are so into slave mentality we look around before eating our chicken and tone our laughs down.. this may be why I eat chicken (thighs, wings.. whatever the parts are with bones) with a fork .. or maybe not.. maybe I'm just like that.. but whatever.. I hope it's the latter.
•She's gangsta though.. she didn't even fake yawn.. she just said.."welp... uhhh.. i'm going to get off the phone now.." awww.. lol.. she seems cool..
•I'm still laughing about me embarrassing the HELL out of Danny when I said something to our teacher that day in class.. she was inappropriate and I'm gonna need Danny not to be ashamed of me, his other mother.. what did he say I had on?.. a trench coat???... LMAO.. remind me pleaaaase!
•I'm mad you two knocked my "Scoo" but didn't help me do it!!.. BoooooooOO
•And yea.. when I got off my phone I thought.. damnnn.. and then I did the count down of how many hours I had before I had to wake up for work..  it was a low number.. but it was worth it!

Love you!!

*Xica*