Mayn...I'm slippin', these past two weeks flew by, I mean there was definitely stress and drama and chilling and laughter, but yet and still somehow I couldn't make the time to post :o( So I'm just going to jump back in like double dutch and start with what went down tonight, I chilled with my brother Brad last night till effin' 5 in the morning talking and bullshitting, then we woke up at 9:30 AM to hit Jersey Gardens Mall because we have a function we have to hit up Sat. night, I bought my dress and then put my shoes and purse on layaway because I wasn't going to stress the fact the my effin bank card declined (turns out one of my many creditors debited $35 without consulting me, I have reason to believe it's Verizon DSL...the very reason I'm able to blog @ all, so Imma let that slide!
After the mall I changed for work, fixed up a load of laundry, swung it to my Uncle's house and slid to work for 5...got out bout 9:15 and took home a co-worker. I saw that Benito had called me around 7:30, but I was actually surprised because I'd thought that he was upset about some BS from earlier in the week. Needless to say the issue was resolved quick fast and we ended up linkin up bout 9:45...I just got home bout 20 minutes ago. All we did was chill and talk and ride around in the rain and b-s...good times. I realized why he's the only man I've ever loved so hard for so long with nothing to show for it. I mean my love for him does things to me, makes me feel some type of way, I guess because it's never been reciprocated in the way that I truely want it to be...and even though I always catch instances of him showing me affection, it's never enough. I've known him for going on 8 years, we kind of need each other because we remind ourselves of who we used to be, and it's like hanging out with a living document of your old self...
Will it ever progress and grow into something substantial? I doubt it. Believe me, I know that I would be more than content with being his wife and mother of his children, but some dreams are only tangible in slumber. On the other hand who knows, maybe he has some tricks up his sleeve that I have yet to uncover, it's like emotional chess, and I just want to get him in check. The song for the night would have to be Mario's Just a Friend 2000 - "Oh baby you, got what I need, but you say I'm just a friend, but you say I'm just a friend, but I can be your, fantasy, but you say I'm just a friend..." Nito is one of the few permanents in my life, so you'll be hearing more about him in future posts...till then, wishing you champagne wishes and caviar dreams...easy.
After the mall I changed for work, fixed up a load of laundry, swung it to my Uncle's house and slid to work for 5...got out bout 9:15 and took home a co-worker. I saw that Benito had called me around 7:30, but I was actually surprised because I'd thought that he was upset about some BS from earlier in the week. Needless to say the issue was resolved quick fast and we ended up linkin up bout 9:45...I just got home bout 20 minutes ago. All we did was chill and talk and ride around in the rain and b-s...good times. I realized why he's the only man I've ever loved so hard for so long with nothing to show for it. I mean my love for him does things to me, makes me feel some type of way, I guess because it's never been reciprocated in the way that I truely want it to be...and even though I always catch instances of him showing me affection, it's never enough. I've known him for going on 8 years, we kind of need each other because we remind ourselves of who we used to be, and it's like hanging out with a living document of your old self...
Will it ever progress and grow into something substantial? I doubt it. Believe me, I know that I would be more than content with being his wife and mother of his children, but some dreams are only tangible in slumber. On the other hand who knows, maybe he has some tricks up his sleeve that I have yet to uncover, it's like emotional chess, and I just want to get him in check. The song for the night would have to be Mario's Just a Friend 2000 - "Oh baby you, got what I need, but you say I'm just a friend, but you say I'm just a friend, but I can be your, fantasy, but you say I'm just a friend..." Nito is one of the few permanents in my life, so you'll be hearing more about him in future posts...till then, wishing you champagne wishes and caviar dreams...easy.
